Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Just a short post today, gentlemen. Swamped with make-up work for the 2 weeks of class that I missed.

My next goal: Go to a rave. I've been reading a bit about them and they seem like more fun than a handbag full of puppies on E. In fact I expect it to be a lot like being in a handbag full of puppies on E give or take a few strobe lights. I'm not sure how I feel about being in a shady club in the middle of Detroit. But hey, at least I'll come out of it with a story! Assuming I come out.  <_<

Singles Cry Alone At Home Day is finally over and I can proudly say that I gave not a single fuck. I took the path of the badass and did nothing but play The Witcher until my hand cramped.

Fight.. being single and playing games all day isn'-

So I'm feeling 60% better now. My last desperate hope at early recovering before the Motionless in White concert on Friday is looking pretty damn slim. I'll tell you this, body. If you're not recovered in time, Sean will push you there in a god damn wheelchair if you're still sick. So man up and HEAL already!

I had a bit of free time this morning and I finished up watching Elfen Lied. Holy shit. That's one brutal anime. I can't say if I really liked it or not, but I didn't hate it.

Youtube is currently down... so no song for you!


Sunday, February 13, 2011

Hardcore.. Wait.. you call that DANCING?

Warning here, folks. This is a ranty-rage post. If you dislike vulgar language and accurate descriptions of high school students then I suggest that you avert your eyes before I offend you.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that most of you guys have never been to a metal/hardcore show. If you're a fan of the genre of music and you haven't been to one, go! If you have been to one... then I shouldn't have to do any convincing to send you back!

Now if you know me, you know I love my live music. Metal and Hardcore especially. But there is nothing, and I mean abso-fucking-lutely-nothing that I hate more than *ahem*... "hardcore" dancers. What makes an effeminate ninety pound high school student with painted nails and a girl's haircut hardcore? Hell if I know. But that's what they call 'em.

Assuming that you aren't familiar with what a "hardcore dancer" is, I'll break it down for you.


Meet Timmy, the sixteen year old shitstain that is going to single-handedly ruin your concert. He's going to run out into the middle of the crowd, put on his rage face, and swing his arms around and attempt to beat the living shit out of... the air. Not his buddy. Not the other like minded (or is that absent minded?) hardcore kids. Just.. the bloody... AIR. Unless someone is unfortunate enough to get in the way of Timmy while he's doing ZE WINDMILL.

If HE'S lucky, he won't hit anybody with enough guts to put him on his ass. If I'M lucky, he'll slip and break his legs.

But Fight! Hardcore dancing is a part of their "scene"!
Yeah. And it needs to STAY THERE.

PhotobucketNowadays, hardcore bands cater to these irritating little scenester bastards, and the scene has changed greatly from back in the ol' glory days when mosh pits involved, you know.. *Gasp!* moshing and god forbid... a little physical contact! But if they want to hardcore dance at shows that cater to them... then I have no place to tell them how to enjoy themselves.

What does bother me if when I go to see The Casualties and I see these kids flailing their arms around, inches from my face. Allow me to make something abundantly clear. If I get kicked in the jaw by a "hardcore" kid while I'm at a punk show I will break them. I'm talking about SCORCHED EARTH, mother fucker! Their mother will cut off their allowance, their scenester girlfriend will stop wearing her customary six pounds of make up, and the singer of their favorite band will be replaced by Craig Mabitt.

It'll happen. Don't try me.

Song: The Human Abstract is back! AJ, the guitarist from their first album, is back with the band and they dropped their dead weight vocalist. This time around their sound is a bit more generic, but It's a definite improvement from Midheaven *shudder*. They remind me a lot of Between The Buried And Me.

Linking a metal song after complaining about hardcore dancers. Oh, the irony.

Saturday, February 12, 2011


Look at me. You see this face? This is the face of a Patrick Rothfuss fanboy.

If you're not familiar with who he is, allow me to enlighten you! Patrick Rothfuss is the result of melding Jesus, Odin, The Ham Burglar, and Luke Skywalker into one brilliant author that radiates awesome and pisses greatness.
But seriously. He's the author of my favorite book, The Name of the Wind. It's a fantasy novel that breaks away from the generic snore-fest of dude finds magic sword, saves world. Oh, and there are dragons. Big ones. Roar. The characters are deep, complex, and dynamic. The plot is brilliant in its simplicity but is well paced and has a fantastic blend of meaningful character development and plot advancement. The system of magic that Rothfuss developed in this book is more akin to simple science and energy transfer than magic and it really makes for an interesting atmosphere. I would attempt to give some overview of the plot but I wouldn't be able to do it any justice.

Oh, and the book is only 30% as homosexual as the cover suggests.

NotW is the first book in a trilogy called "The King Killer Chronicles" and after an excruciating three year wait, the second book named "The Wise Man's Fear" is set to be released March 1st!

The long wait isn't due to any laziness on the author's part. As stated on his blog concerning the multiple release date push backs he said that over the course of writing the book he had a baby, lost a father, done charity work, been around to country touring, and revised the story too many times to count. I'm just glad that the damn thing is actually being released. I'm sure it will be well worth the wait.

After reading his blog for about a year he seems to be a very down to earth, fun guy and I really enjoy the articles he posts, whether they are about him getting banned from Tacto Bell or about his new baby Oot. You can check out his blog and such >>Here<<.

Unfortunately, I had food poisoning the day that Mr. Rothfuss came to Michigan and I wasn't able to make it to his reading/signing. Bawww.


The Dawn of War 2: Retribution open beta testing started a couple of days ago. If you're a fan of RTS games, Warhammer, or BEHEADING PUNY IMPERIAL GUARDSMAN IN THE NAME OF THE BLOOD GOD, then you should definitely check it out.

Also, Dubstep.

I'm not responsible for any subs blown by the drop in the second song of this mix. It's SO FUCKING HEAVY.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


PhotobucketMy winter just wouldn't be complete without a solid four months of being perpetually ill. A scant three weeks after getting food poisoning, I have come down with some sort of strep/cold/THING. I'm starting to think that my immune system is absolute trash. Either that, or a hoodie is not a suitable winter jacket. I blame George Bush and his evil weather machine.

But for you folks, all this means is that between dragging myself to class, and getting as much sleep as physically possible, I won't be posting anything awesome for a few days. I just don't feel up to it.  :(

Stay classy, gents. I'll be back to smother you with almost witty bullshit once I don't feel like I'm dying.


Song: Husky Starcraft's Banelings. Because It's awesome and it cheers me up.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

It's like a game show! But if you answer wrong, they detain you!

Where is the one place that you will be interviewed like a contestant on a speed dating show, treated like a criminal, and if you're feeling lucky, will have your car searched by a canine team?

Why, it's the border to your own country of course!

Look, I get it. It's the one stop before we let some psychotic bloodthirsty Canadian, hell bent on world domination into our country. I can't blame the guys at the border for taking their job too seriously, but I'm a college student without a criminal record that frequently crosses into Canada (AT LEAST once a month). Is it really necessary for you to tear my car apart every time I cross, officer? Are you going to at least take my car to dinner before ravaging it? No? Oh god, your hand is in there all nice n' deep like...

THIS is why I hate the border. Because no matter what, if I cross the border alone, I am held up for an hour while getting drilled with off putting, captious questions by Captian Cockbag the Rent-A-Cop while his BFF tears apart the interior of my car.  They actually brought out the drug dogs last time. I wish I were lying.

I wouldn't even mind it if the questions were on target, but I don't want to talk about what school I go to for five minutes before they ask me if I'm a coke fiend. I kid you not, this conversation happened word for word.

"So how did you meet this person you're going to see?"
"On World of Warcraft. We met on there about three years ago and have been hanging out ever since"
"World of Warcraft?"
"Yeah it's a-"
"I KNOW WHAT IT IS. Do you have any weed in the car?"
"Wha- No! Of course not"
"That's good. What school do you go to?"


There must be something about my appearance that screams shady drug dealer. Sorry officer, I left my top hat and monocle at home. Could I persuade you with some tea and crumpets?


Some chill dubstep. Sunlight by Modestep!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Guess whose college is closed!!! NO STORY BOARDING TODAY, BITCHES! /flex!

I have constructed a productive, well thought out agenda for today. It looks something like this.

8:00 am - 8:30 am - Wake up. Eat delicious Korean beef stir fry.
8:30 am - 3:00 am - League of Legends.

Unhealthy, some may say. INSANITY, SOME MAY SAY. And to those people I say... Nothing. Not a single fuck was given this day.

My body is ready.


Protest the Hero - Bloodmeat

In Flames - Reflect the Storm

Devildriver - Clouds Over California

Motionless in White - Abigail

Parkway Drive - Sleepwalker

D&D, Epic Beards, And a distinct lack of attractive women. (Part III, Finale)

So after a nutritious breakfast of Ramens and Mountain Dew, we were off to the all day nerd-a-thon. Now I had never been to a convention before, but the ones I have seen pictures of seemed to be set up in a convention center with different booths and stages set up for different events, vendors, ect. This was nothing like that. The convention was held in a fairly upscale event hall, and after paying a recockulous $15 for parking, we expected to have a long wait out in the cold as everyone waited to purchase tickets. Instead, the outside of the building and welcome lobby were almost completely empty. We assumed that we were early and that things hadn't been set up yet, rather we were informed that everything was already underway. Confused, we followed one the event coordinator that sold us our tickets to a pair of double doors. Those doors opening were like the gates of heaven swinging open (Well, nerd heaven at least).

One moment we were in a barren welcome lobby, and the next we were surrounded by hundreds of people playing games of DnD being, overzealous middle aged men screaming war cries at the top of their lungs, and oiled up babes in bikinis riding dragons having an epic sword fight. Alright so maybe we're a few features short of nerd heaven, but you get the picture.

The day was arranged into different events, each lasting 2-4 hours depending on the size of your group and what campaign you were playing. UNFORTUNATELY each event had a price of $8 on top of the entry fee of $20. Needless to say, I burnt though the $60 I brought pretty damn quickly.

We started off the day by playing gamma world, which is a Fallout 3-esque 4th edition DnD game. It's really light hearted and quite enjoyable to play. Randomly rolled characters can create some interesting race combinations (I myself was a robotic plant named Marty the Party Cactus. And I battled injustice with my ray gun mounted vine-like feelers!). We played with two of the event coordinators that had a bit of free time and wanted to have some fun. We fought our way across the now even more polluted Hudson river, and did battle with a group of android baseball players. We could have just beaten them in a game of DnD baseball... but who can resist sucker punching a batter as he runs a base? Come on.

Our second game was a game of DnD classic. The module we used was from WAYYYYY back when first edition DnD had just come out. Our DM was phenomenal. Not only did he have a massive bright red beard that reached mid chest, but he spoke entirely in character, incorporating elaborate accents and different postures for each character he played as. This may sound incredibly nerdy for those unfamiliar with DnD, but it just makes everything a thousand times more fun if everyone just let's their inhibitions go and has fun with the role playing.

After a quick lunch of Peanut butter sandwiches(we misplaced the jelly... sadface..), we did some shopping around the in house shops that had been set up, and after gawking at the fifty foot table of different kinds of dice, I picked up a nice set of yellow/fiery orange dice for pretty cheap, along with a model to use for my character (a Half Elven Hexblade. SO much fun to play as. +10 to bluff and intimidate... bitch, you're doing what I say!). Epic beard award number two goes to the shop owner that sold all of the models. I don't think I could see his face AT ALL under that massive lump of a beard.

The last event of the day was a module set in the Dark Sun campaign. In this campaign, arcane magic has corrupted the world of Athas, and what was once a lush tropical planet has been reduced to a world of sandy barrens sprinkled with oasis's. Metals are extremely rare and adventurers have turned too less likely forms of armory/weaponry such as bone and wood. We played with a couple of guys that were probably a couple of years older than us, and one man who appeared to be in his late 50's. We had a lot of fun. The plot was very open ended, this allowed us to be very creative with our decisions and made for a very interesting game. Between intimidating a traveler to sell us into slavery so we could get closer to someone trapped in a slave caravan, impersonating doctors in order to collect medical supplies, and having Kyle's Monk get his ass kicked in a rigged boxing match against a crazed halfling, we had a ton of fun and had everyone at the table cracking up with laughter for most of the game.

Epic beard awards 3, 4, and 5 go to the guys at the table behind us. One stocky cowboy hat wearing dude had a mix between a fu man chu and mutton chops, the next had a neckbeard that would make the most hardcore of nerdy shut-ins jealous, and the last (my personal favorite) was clean shaven save for the beard on his chin, which was combed and oiled into one long perfect sheet that went down to the base of his neck. Creepy looking, but still pretty badass.

We got out early the next morning so Kyle could get to a home viewing with his fiancĂ©e at 11 the next morning. Getting up at 6am with nothing to eat but chips and mountain dew blows. But we made the trip home on the ice covered roads without too much trouble. Road trip to central michigan university for a friend's 21st birthday next weekend. I'm sure I'll have some stories to tell about that as well...

Till next time!

SONGS! D.R.U.G.S - If you think this song is about you, it probably is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QP7JBJDXDpY
Craig Owens, the ex-lead singer of Chiodos formed this band late last year, and they are AWESOME. If you like Chiodos or alternative rock, check these guys out. They won't dissapoint.

Also! I have never worked with HTML before. If someone could give me a quick walkthrough on how to incorporate videos/pictures into my post, I would love you forever.