Monday, January 31, 2011

D&D, Epic Beards, And a distinct lack of attractive women. (Part II)

With our load of travel food packed in the back seat with Kyle, Zach was ready to navigate the treacherous frozen tundra of what Michigan calls a highway. Over the next three hours we obliterated a box full of tacos from T-BELL!, listened to a Bo Burnham CD (Funniest singer/comedian I have heard in ages), and had an hour long discussion of creepy paranormal stuff that happened at their high school (Will have to make a post on this later. REALLY interesting stuff).

Fun fact: There is nothing between Lansing and Fort Wayne but porn shops and trucker stops.

After we arrived in Fort Wayne, Indiana we did some quick google-ing and found the cheapest motel in the area. About 10 minutes from the convention center was the crumbling shanty of a Motel 6 that we would call home for the next 2 nights... nestled snugly in between two strip clubs. Awesome. One seemed to be a bit classier, while the other had a funky orange and yellow paint job and had paintings of women pole dancing that looked like they were done by a six year old. We're assuming that this is where they send the strippers that have an extra eye, or a peg leg.

Aside from the truckers that, by the way, all look EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME, I think we were the only people at the motel that were not in the company of strippers/hookers. Upside of this was that after the portly black woman that was working the night shift was done oogling Zach's bright pink hair and spiky dog collar (God, I love goth kids. They're just fun to be around), she gave us our room for 1/3 the price. Either Shaniqua was into us, or there is a hidden 60% off coupon for those that arrive hooker-less. I hope it was the latter.

On our way to car to unpack we went past what appeared to be a college-age guy and his hot girlfriend that were checking in after us. Before running into them, I called it. "That's a stripper. No doubt about it". Kyle and Zach didn't believe me so on our second run back to the car we looped around the front desk area. Upon further inspection we discovered that the guy was nervous, on the verge of terrified and trembling. He carried with him a paper bag full of alcohol, and his attractive friend was in a leather jacket, heels, and looked bored. I couldn't restrain myself from letting out a Quagmire-esque "GIGGITY!" as we walked by. Oh, and according to the cash register, their room cost twice what ours did. Poor awkward college guy.

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful. We made our D&D/Gamma World characters for the convention the next day while watching American Dad and Robot Chicken. The convention started at 8 am so we had the lights out by 1 or so. We slept undisturbed until around 2am we heard a loud knock on the door near ours. "ROOM SERVICE! OPEN UP! IT'S CAMMY AND TAFFY!" a female voice shouted. Surprisingly, we didn't hear anything through the walls. They must have been across the hall from us. Damn, I just love Motel 6. More later, I need to go to class.

Some Bo Burnham!

Song: Borgore - Foes (16 Bit Mix) -


  1. cool blog bruh

    click mine and follow

  2. Pretty eventful life you got there.

    Wish I could say the same about mine.


  3. Epic beards are what I'm all about. Also: Cool story, bro.

  4. Epic beards are fun... for a while. But live it up while you can, man!

    Followed and supported!

  5. brb going to taco bell! btw i live in michgian too

    your friend,

  6. That's a pretty awesome story, I've always wanted to get into D&D

  7. I would have starved a long time ago without my taco bell, lol. Any day I'm too pressed for time I just stop there on my way to class.

    $3 meal? Hell yeah.

    Great stuff, more stuff like this and you've got yourself a major fan!

  9. "Suddenly you open the door and there are two hookers in maid outfits. Roll for a will save or get AIDS." Good story, can't wait to read moar! :)

  10. Reminds me of half of my "Day before con" events. Sadly, not so many strippers.