Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Just a short post today, gentlemen. Swamped with make-up work for the 2 weeks of class that I missed.

My next goal: Go to a rave. I've been reading a bit about them and they seem like more fun than a handbag full of puppies on E. In fact I expect it to be a lot like being in a handbag full of puppies on E give or take a few strobe lights. I'm not sure how I feel about being in a shady club in the middle of Detroit. But hey, at least I'll come out of it with a story! Assuming I come out.  <_<

Singles Cry Alone At Home Day is finally over and I can proudly say that I gave not a single fuck. I took the path of the badass and did nothing but play The Witcher until my hand cramped.

Fight.. being single and playing games all day isn'-

So I'm feeling 60% better now. My last desperate hope at early recovering before the Motionless in White concert on Friday is looking pretty damn slim. I'll tell you this, body. If you're not recovered in time, Sean will push you there in a god damn wheelchair if you're still sick. So man up and HEAL already!

I had a bit of free time this morning and I finished up watching Elfen Lied. Holy shit. That's one brutal anime. I can't say if I really liked it or not, but I didn't hate it.

Youtube is currently down... so no song for you!


Sunday, February 13, 2011

Hardcore.. Wait.. you call that DANCING?

Warning here, folks. This is a ranty-rage post. If you dislike vulgar language and accurate descriptions of high school students then I suggest that you avert your eyes before I offend you.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that most of you guys have never been to a metal/hardcore show. If you're a fan of the genre of music and you haven't been to one, go! If you have been to one... then I shouldn't have to do any convincing to send you back!

Now if you know me, you know I love my live music. Metal and Hardcore especially. But there is nothing, and I mean abso-fucking-lutely-nothing that I hate more than *ahem*... "hardcore" dancers. What makes an effeminate ninety pound high school student with painted nails and a girl's haircut hardcore? Hell if I know. But that's what they call 'em.

Assuming that you aren't familiar with what a "hardcore dancer" is, I'll break it down for you.


Meet Timmy, the sixteen year old shitstain that is going to single-handedly ruin your concert. He's going to run out into the middle of the crowd, put on his rage face, and swing his arms around and attempt to beat the living shit out of... the air. Not his buddy. Not the other like minded (or is that absent minded?) hardcore kids. Just.. the bloody... AIR. Unless someone is unfortunate enough to get in the way of Timmy while he's doing ZE WINDMILL.

If HE'S lucky, he won't hit anybody with enough guts to put him on his ass. If I'M lucky, he'll slip and break his legs.

But Fight! Hardcore dancing is a part of their "scene"!
Yeah. And it needs to STAY THERE.

PhotobucketNowadays, hardcore bands cater to these irritating little scenester bastards, and the scene has changed greatly from back in the ol' glory days when mosh pits involved, you know.. *Gasp!* moshing and god forbid... a little physical contact! But if they want to hardcore dance at shows that cater to them... then I have no place to tell them how to enjoy themselves.

What does bother me if when I go to see The Casualties and I see these kids flailing their arms around, inches from my face. Allow me to make something abundantly clear. If I get kicked in the jaw by a "hardcore" kid while I'm at a punk show I will break them. I'm talking about SCORCHED EARTH, mother fucker! Their mother will cut off their allowance, their scenester girlfriend will stop wearing her customary six pounds of make up, and the singer of their favorite band will be replaced by Craig Mabitt.

It'll happen. Don't try me.

Song: The Human Abstract is back! AJ, the guitarist from their first album, is back with the band and they dropped their dead weight vocalist. This time around their sound is a bit more generic, but It's a definite improvement from Midheaven *shudder*. They remind me a lot of Between The Buried And Me.

Linking a metal song after complaining about hardcore dancers. Oh, the irony.

Saturday, February 12, 2011


Look at me. You see this face? This is the face of a Patrick Rothfuss fanboy.

If you're not familiar with who he is, allow me to enlighten you! Patrick Rothfuss is the result of melding Jesus, Odin, The Ham Burglar, and Luke Skywalker into one brilliant author that radiates awesome and pisses greatness.
But seriously. He's the author of my favorite book, The Name of the Wind. It's a fantasy novel that breaks away from the generic snore-fest of dude finds magic sword, saves world. Oh, and there are dragons. Big ones. Roar. The characters are deep, complex, and dynamic. The plot is brilliant in its simplicity but is well paced and has a fantastic blend of meaningful character development and plot advancement. The system of magic that Rothfuss developed in this book is more akin to simple science and energy transfer than magic and it really makes for an interesting atmosphere. I would attempt to give some overview of the plot but I wouldn't be able to do it any justice.

Oh, and the book is only 30% as homosexual as the cover suggests.

NotW is the first book in a trilogy called "The King Killer Chronicles" and after an excruciating three year wait, the second book named "The Wise Man's Fear" is set to be released March 1st!

The long wait isn't due to any laziness on the author's part. As stated on his blog concerning the multiple release date push backs he said that over the course of writing the book he had a baby, lost a father, done charity work, been around to country touring, and revised the story too many times to count. I'm just glad that the damn thing is actually being released. I'm sure it will be well worth the wait.

After reading his blog for about a year he seems to be a very down to earth, fun guy and I really enjoy the articles he posts, whether they are about him getting banned from Tacto Bell or about his new baby Oot. You can check out his blog and such >>Here<<.

Unfortunately, I had food poisoning the day that Mr. Rothfuss came to Michigan and I wasn't able to make it to his reading/signing. Bawww.


The Dawn of War 2: Retribution open beta testing started a couple of days ago. If you're a fan of RTS games, Warhammer, or BEHEADING PUNY IMPERIAL GUARDSMAN IN THE NAME OF THE BLOOD GOD, then you should definitely check it out.

Also, Dubstep.

I'm not responsible for any subs blown by the drop in the second song of this mix. It's SO FUCKING HEAVY.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


PhotobucketMy winter just wouldn't be complete without a solid four months of being perpetually ill. A scant three weeks after getting food poisoning, I have come down with some sort of strep/cold/THING. I'm starting to think that my immune system is absolute trash. Either that, or a hoodie is not a suitable winter jacket. I blame George Bush and his evil weather machine.

But for you folks, all this means is that between dragging myself to class, and getting as much sleep as physically possible, I won't be posting anything awesome for a few days. I just don't feel up to it.  :(

Stay classy, gents. I'll be back to smother you with almost witty bullshit once I don't feel like I'm dying.


Song: Husky Starcraft's Banelings. Because It's awesome and it cheers me up.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

It's like a game show! But if you answer wrong, they detain you!

Where is the one place that you will be interviewed like a contestant on a speed dating show, treated like a criminal, and if you're feeling lucky, will have your car searched by a canine team?

Why, it's the border to your own country of course!

Look, I get it. It's the one stop before we let some psychotic bloodthirsty Canadian, hell bent on world domination into our country. I can't blame the guys at the border for taking their job too seriously, but I'm a college student without a criminal record that frequently crosses into Canada (AT LEAST once a month). Is it really necessary for you to tear my car apart every time I cross, officer? Are you going to at least take my car to dinner before ravaging it? No? Oh god, your hand is in there all nice n' deep like...

THIS is why I hate the border. Because no matter what, if I cross the border alone, I am held up for an hour while getting drilled with off putting, captious questions by Captian Cockbag the Rent-A-Cop while his BFF tears apart the interior of my car.  They actually brought out the drug dogs last time. I wish I were lying.

I wouldn't even mind it if the questions were on target, but I don't want to talk about what school I go to for five minutes before they ask me if I'm a coke fiend. I kid you not, this conversation happened word for word.

"So how did you meet this person you're going to see?"
"On World of Warcraft. We met on there about three years ago and have been hanging out ever since"
"World of Warcraft?"
"Yeah it's a-"
"I KNOW WHAT IT IS. Do you have any weed in the car?"
"Wha- No! Of course not"
"That's good. What school do you go to?"


There must be something about my appearance that screams shady drug dealer. Sorry officer, I left my top hat and monocle at home. Could I persuade you with some tea and crumpets?


Some chill dubstep. Sunlight by Modestep!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Guess whose college is closed!!! NO STORY BOARDING TODAY, BITCHES! /flex!

I have constructed a productive, well thought out agenda for today. It looks something like this.

8:00 am - 8:30 am - Wake up. Eat delicious Korean beef stir fry.
8:30 am - 3:00 am - League of Legends.

Unhealthy, some may say. INSANITY, SOME MAY SAY. And to those people I say... Nothing. Not a single fuck was given this day.

My body is ready.


Protest the Hero - Bloodmeat

In Flames - Reflect the Storm

Devildriver - Clouds Over California

Motionless in White - Abigail

Parkway Drive - Sleepwalker

D&D, Epic Beards, And a distinct lack of attractive women. (Part III, Finale)

So after a nutritious breakfast of Ramens and Mountain Dew, we were off to the all day nerd-a-thon. Now I had never been to a convention before, but the ones I have seen pictures of seemed to be set up in a convention center with different booths and stages set up for different events, vendors, ect. This was nothing like that. The convention was held in a fairly upscale event hall, and after paying a recockulous $15 for parking, we expected to have a long wait out in the cold as everyone waited to purchase tickets. Instead, the outside of the building and welcome lobby were almost completely empty. We assumed that we were early and that things hadn't been set up yet, rather we were informed that everything was already underway. Confused, we followed one the event coordinator that sold us our tickets to a pair of double doors. Those doors opening were like the gates of heaven swinging open (Well, nerd heaven at least).

One moment we were in a barren welcome lobby, and the next we were surrounded by hundreds of people playing games of DnD being, overzealous middle aged men screaming war cries at the top of their lungs, and oiled up babes in bikinis riding dragons having an epic sword fight. Alright so maybe we're a few features short of nerd heaven, but you get the picture.

The day was arranged into different events, each lasting 2-4 hours depending on the size of your group and what campaign you were playing. UNFORTUNATELY each event had a price of $8 on top of the entry fee of $20. Needless to say, I burnt though the $60 I brought pretty damn quickly.

We started off the day by playing gamma world, which is a Fallout 3-esque 4th edition DnD game. It's really light hearted and quite enjoyable to play. Randomly rolled characters can create some interesting race combinations (I myself was a robotic plant named Marty the Party Cactus. And I battled injustice with my ray gun mounted vine-like feelers!). We played with two of the event coordinators that had a bit of free time and wanted to have some fun. We fought our way across the now even more polluted Hudson river, and did battle with a group of android baseball players. We could have just beaten them in a game of DnD baseball... but who can resist sucker punching a batter as he runs a base? Come on.

Our second game was a game of DnD classic. The module we used was from WAYYYYY back when first edition DnD had just come out. Our DM was phenomenal. Not only did he have a massive bright red beard that reached mid chest, but he spoke entirely in character, incorporating elaborate accents and different postures for each character he played as. This may sound incredibly nerdy for those unfamiliar with DnD, but it just makes everything a thousand times more fun if everyone just let's their inhibitions go and has fun with the role playing.

After a quick lunch of Peanut butter sandwiches(we misplaced the jelly... sadface..), we did some shopping around the in house shops that had been set up, and after gawking at the fifty foot table of different kinds of dice, I picked up a nice set of yellow/fiery orange dice for pretty cheap, along with a model to use for my character (a Half Elven Hexblade. SO much fun to play as. +10 to bluff and intimidate... bitch, you're doing what I say!). Epic beard award number two goes to the shop owner that sold all of the models. I don't think I could see his face AT ALL under that massive lump of a beard.

The last event of the day was a module set in the Dark Sun campaign. In this campaign, arcane magic has corrupted the world of Athas, and what was once a lush tropical planet has been reduced to a world of sandy barrens sprinkled with oasis's. Metals are extremely rare and adventurers have turned too less likely forms of armory/weaponry such as bone and wood. We played with a couple of guys that were probably a couple of years older than us, and one man who appeared to be in his late 50's. We had a lot of fun. The plot was very open ended, this allowed us to be very creative with our decisions and made for a very interesting game. Between intimidating a traveler to sell us into slavery so we could get closer to someone trapped in a slave caravan, impersonating doctors in order to collect medical supplies, and having Kyle's Monk get his ass kicked in a rigged boxing match against a crazed halfling, we had a ton of fun and had everyone at the table cracking up with laughter for most of the game.

Epic beard awards 3, 4, and 5 go to the guys at the table behind us. One stocky cowboy hat wearing dude had a mix between a fu man chu and mutton chops, the next had a neckbeard that would make the most hardcore of nerdy shut-ins jealous, and the last (my personal favorite) was clean shaven save for the beard on his chin, which was combed and oiled into one long perfect sheet that went down to the base of his neck. Creepy looking, but still pretty badass.

We got out early the next morning so Kyle could get to a home viewing with his fiancĂ©e at 11 the next morning. Getting up at 6am with nothing to eat but chips and mountain dew blows. But we made the trip home on the ice covered roads without too much trouble. Road trip to central michigan university for a friend's 21st birthday next weekend. I'm sure I'll have some stories to tell about that as well...

Till next time!

SONGS! D.R.U.G.S - If you think this song is about you, it probably is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QP7JBJDXDpY
Craig Owens, the ex-lead singer of Chiodos formed this band late last year, and they are AWESOME. If you like Chiodos or alternative rock, check these guys out. They won't dissapoint.

Also! I have never worked with HTML before. If someone could give me a quick walkthrough on how to incorporate videos/pictures into my post, I would love you forever.

Monday, January 31, 2011

D&D, Epic Beards, And a distinct lack of attractive women. (Part II)

With our load of travel food packed in the back seat with Kyle, Zach was ready to navigate the treacherous frozen tundra of what Michigan calls a highway. Over the next three hours we obliterated a box full of tacos from T-BELL!, listened to a Bo Burnham CD (Funniest singer/comedian I have heard in ages), and had an hour long discussion of creepy paranormal stuff that happened at their high school (Will have to make a post on this later. REALLY interesting stuff).

Fun fact: There is nothing between Lansing and Fort Wayne but porn shops and trucker stops.

After we arrived in Fort Wayne, Indiana we did some quick google-ing and found the cheapest motel in the area. About 10 minutes from the convention center was the crumbling shanty of a Motel 6 that we would call home for the next 2 nights... nestled snugly in between two strip clubs. Awesome. One seemed to be a bit classier, while the other had a funky orange and yellow paint job and had paintings of women pole dancing that looked like they were done by a six year old. We're assuming that this is where they send the strippers that have an extra eye, or a peg leg.

Aside from the truckers that, by the way, all look EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME, I think we were the only people at the motel that were not in the company of strippers/hookers. Upside of this was that after the portly black woman that was working the night shift was done oogling Zach's bright pink hair and spiky dog collar (God, I love goth kids. They're just fun to be around), she gave us our room for 1/3 the price. Either Shaniqua was into us, or there is a hidden 60% off coupon for those that arrive hooker-less. I hope it was the latter.

On our way to car to unpack we went past what appeared to be a college-age guy and his hot girlfriend that were checking in after us. Before running into them, I called it. "That's a stripper. No doubt about it". Kyle and Zach didn't believe me so on our second run back to the car we looped around the front desk area. Upon further inspection we discovered that the guy was nervous, on the verge of terrified and trembling. He carried with him a paper bag full of alcohol, and his attractive friend was in a leather jacket, heels, and looked bored. I couldn't restrain myself from letting out a Quagmire-esque "GIGGITY!" as we walked by. Oh, and according to the cash register, their room cost twice what ours did. Poor awkward college guy.

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful. We made our D&D/Gamma World characters for the convention the next day while watching American Dad and Robot Chicken. The convention started at 8 am so we had the lights out by 1 or so. We slept undisturbed until around 2am we heard a loud knock on the door near ours. "ROOM SERVICE! OPEN UP! IT'S CAMMY AND TAFFY!" a female voice shouted. Surprisingly, we didn't hear anything through the walls. They must have been across the hall from us. Damn, I just love Motel 6. More later, I need to go to class.

Some Bo Burnham! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obIGsb-IZMo

Song: Borgore - Foes (16 Bit Mix) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tW9e86ypHc

Errbody in da club gettin... Is that guy doing the sprinkler?

So I've never been a big fan of clubs, or dancing, or dancing in clubs for that matter. But when I'm sitting home alone at 8pm on a Saturday night I can't exactly turn down an invitation.

After meeting up with everyone at a friend's place, we all packed in my buddy Sean's car and listened to 80's pop music the entire way to a club called Necto. I had been there once before for a Halloween party, but that was less of a dance and more of a "gawk at the scantily clad naughty-(Insert popculture figure here)". But the place is nice enough, and aside from the freakish abundance of creepy Armenian guys that can't help but hit on my female friends, has a decent turnout of interesting people. Including "epicbeardman v2.0" as Hillary dubbed him. A man that looks EXACTLY how I imagine epicbeardman looked in his younger years.

The first thing I noticed upon getting into the club was a mass of party balloons tied down around 3 tables of middle aged women. I assumed it was a birthday at first, but that idea evaporated the second that I saw a thirty something year old woman wearing a brides veil. A bachelorette party. Oshit.

After mingling around a bit and dancing with some Asian chicks that are barely as tall as my chest (Being 6'3 really has its disadvantages...), I found surrounded by a bunch of older women. I assumed that I had just drifted into a group of the women from the bachelorette party. Suspicions were confirmed when I found myself in a bridesmaid and bride to be sandwich. And I must say, as far as older women go, they were pretty damn good looking. Cheers to them.

2 hours of decent dubstep/DnB/Generic club music from MC Yoda and DJ Hardy and a lifetime of cheesy dance moves later, the gang and I were getting the hell out of Necto, and on to 7-11 for some slushies. After a night of dancing in a club that must have been well above 100 degrees inside, the cold winter Michigan air and a Mountain Dew slushie are the two greatest things in the entire world.

Song: Men Without Hats - Safety Dance
Something along the lines of what we were listening to on the way to Necto. Good ol' 80's dance music...

Saturday, January 29, 2011

D&D, Epic Beards, And a distinct lack of attractive women. (Part I)

I had spoken to a friend a few weeks ago about a D&D (Dungeons and Dragons, for you poor un-nerdy folk) convention that was taking in place in Fort Wayne, Indiana, which is a few hours southwest of where we're from. We thought it might be fun to check out, but like all plans I make with people, I took it with a grain of salt. Most of the time (at least with people my age) our schedules don't sync up well, or someone is low on cash, or the roads are shit, or Kyle has to take care of his baby, or all of the above plus a heaping load of "This assignment is due in 7 days. It will take 13 days to complete. Enjoy."

So after a couple weeks of not speaking about said convention I had assumed that we wouldn't be making the trip. It wasn't until the Thursday before the weekend of the convention started that I received a phone call from my friend Kyle asking if I was ready to start the trip in 2 hours. At the time I was sitting in my boxers at 4pm, fitting in a few more rage filled games of Team Fortress 2 before heading off for my 6-9pm class.

Being the responsible adult that I am, I cancelled class, showered, and rushed out to meet the guys at Kroger to drop off our extra cars and pick up some "essentials" for the weekend.

Now I don't know if you have ever been shopping with a hungry college guy before, but things can get pretty hairy. Now, instead of one hungry college guy we had three, and instead of a tight budget we had Kyle's army credit card that covers his grocery expenditures (Thanks, buddy!). After an hour and a half of watching Zach cruise around the isles in a motorized lazy bastard cart (which apparently isn't made to do doughnuts, according to certain Kroger workers. But it seemed to work for us just fine. They just want to have all of the fun for themselves. Selfish fiends!) and grabbing everything that looked edible, our cart was pretty packed. Luckily the cart has a maximum carrying weight of 500lbs! I pray to God, Xenu, and Khorne that no one person has ever had to worry about this. 

Surprisingly, our food for the weekend only came out to about $80. We're just economically conscious budget shoppers at heart, it seems! Our cart looked something like this...

3 Twelve packs of Mountain Dew Voltage
6 Cups of Ramen
PB&J + Bread

2 Bags of cookies
Bag of Mini Doughnuts
Nerf Sword
3 Family sized bags of chips
Small Child
Snack Packs
Strawberry Applesauce
2 Galons of Cran-Apple juice

Because D&D and healthy food just doesn't mix.

I really need to start bringing a camera with me on my adventures. So many epic moments that nobody else ever gets to see...

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

This post is now DIAMONDS. Also, League of Legends.

It really takes a lot for a game company to impress me. As much as I will complain that Blizzard is the spawn of Satan for the steep pricing of their games, quality-wise they have really spoiled me. I have taken things like frequent patches and quick hotfixes for bugs for granted, and as I have ventured into other online based games by other developers I have realized just how well Blizz treats us, even if the price is a bit steep. Come on. It's only YOUR SOUL. But I'm sure if you bargain with them you can trade them your firstborn instead. I only had to give them a kidney and a "favor to be fulfilled at a later date".

All hail our favorite faceless, money grubbing, casual catering, heartless corporation: Blizzard!

"What's that up in the sky? A bird? A plane?"
"No. It's Tom Chilton cruising by in his private, platinum plated starship. I wonder if it's fueled by the tears of non-casual gamers..."
"Is he blaring Wu Tang Clan?"
"They ain't nothin' to fuck with."

But what I really want to talk about is a small, independent company called Riot Games. These guys haven't been around long, and they could probably fit their entire staff inside of Blizzard's welcome lobby, but these guys have really proven that you don't need an overflowing bank account to make a fantastic game. Currently, their only title is League of Legends- a free to play PvP(Player versus player) type game. But they are (overly?)active in their community, quick to address issues in game and out, crank out additional bi-weekly content updates along with a bit of well written lore-based fluff, as well as a funny video from time to time. What else could a guy ask for?

Did I mention that it is free? No, actually FREE. Not "free" like most other FTP online games that only allow you to play a boring, bare-bones version of their game until you purchase a premium membership. Or supply anyone who drops five dollars into a shady looking paypal account with THE ULTIMATE SWORD OF FUCKING DOOM AND DESPAIR that allows you to absolutely wreck any poor kid that couldn't get his grubby little fingers on Mom's credit card. 

I mean FREE as in you download the bloody game and never have to pay a cent.

Their only source of revenue come from the sale of "skins" for the different characters in game (Skins can be anything from recolors/palette swaps of the character model, to complete appearance overhauls and custom sound effects) . Skins have ZERO impact on the gameplay itself and provide no unfair advantage to people that have spent money on the game. They are just there to look neat and give you the warm fuzzy feeling that you supported a wonderful company. Or just because you wanted to see Evelynn in even LESS clothing, as if that were possible.

I encourage anyone who reads this to check the game out and give it a whirl. It's definitely not for some people, but if you want fun, fast paced, competitive gameplay and a community that's packed full of angsty, racial slur spurting fifteen year olds that just found out what the word cunt means, look no further than League of Legends.

I'd whine about how much I hate online game communities in general, but that's a rant for another day. Let's just say that they ever develop a device that allows me to administer digital bitch slaps to people that piss me off, I won't be leaving my computer for a while.

Song: Stupid MF - Mindless Self Indulgence (Caution, colorful language)

Link to League of Legend's website. -> http://www.leagueoflegends.com/

We will never sleep, 'cause sleep is for the weak.

Considering that we sleep about 1/3 of our lives away, I would expect that we should all be pretty damn good at it.

But for whatever reason, I seem to be about as talented at getting a good night's sleep as I am juggling chainsaws.... that are on fire... while wearing roller skates... while I'm balancing on a stool... that's on top of a dolphin.

The fact that my school schedule is about as organized as a English hockey player's teeth has only exasperated the situation, and getting a grand total of ten hours of sleep over the past three days leaves me feeling a bit ragged, especially when I'm running around for hours at a time playing "taxi driver". The worst part is that I'm not getting little sleep because I'm stressed or overworked. It's quite the opposite. I have been spending my nights chipping away at Robert Jordan's lengthy but brilliant Wheel of Time series, or trolling twelve year olds on the League of Legends forums. I'm thinking of taking up crime fighting as a midnight hobby. Not many people can pull off a gem studded purple velvet body suit, but I'm willing to give it a shot... for science!

Fightheinsomniac's Class Schedule:
Mon: 4-7 pm
Tues: 2-5 pm
Weds: 8-11 am
Thurs: 6-9 pm

I mean.. really, guys? Reeeaaaallllly?

Song: My Dear Inertia - The Syncope Threshold (now known as I, Omega)

Some delicious progressive rock. Mmmmmm.

What faggotry is this?!

So of course the exact minute I decide to start this blasted thing, the shitstorm of the century takes place and I have been dealing with the nonsense that came with it for the past week and haven't had five minutes to sit down and write something. Essentially, every aspect of my life decided to sequentially explode into overwhelming amounts of bullshit and faggotry.

But, as always, there is good in every situation. And while I may have been absolutely miserable for the past week, I have learned some very important life lessons.

First of all; the only women I am even remotely attracted to are vain, selfish, empty headed fleshbags. But hey, they're kinda cute, right?

Second of all; Eating Baconators every day is bad for you. REALLY, REALLY bad for you. Subsisting on fast food isn't looking like a viable option anymore and I kind of miss being in great shape. Hope you're ready for me, treadmill, because this fatty isn't jogging in the snow.

And lastly, and probably most importantly; I need a job. A REAL job. I'm not sure how I'll fit it in with my wonky class schedule, but It's going to have to happen. Days until Chris goes on a homicidal rampage after working a monotonous night shift: Approximately 75.

On a related side note- Blizzard is a company of cash guzzling vampires that won't be satisfied until I am broke and I'm scraping coins off of the Kroger parking lot for subscription money. I wish I were joking.

Song- Immaculate Misconception by Motionless in White

I'm pleasantly surprised by how much meaning these guys pack into their lyrics, and how varied their songs are. Too often these days are hardcore bands turning to uninspired, generic lyrics in between open fret breakdowns and it leaves much to be desired. These guys are a real breath of fresh air in the genre. I just wish I had heard of them sooner.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Failboat is setting sail.

Hello and welcome to my blog! I decided to start blogging for a number of reasons, including...

1. Brush up on my meager writing skills. Due to my college career path, I haven't had the option of taking any Lit. based classes, and I'm more than a little bit rusty.
2. Because Facebook posts are not a satisfactory creative outlet.
3. Because I'm an opinionated asshole, and I love few things more than a good rant.

With all posts I'll tag on the song I'm listening to, a favorite video, or some nonsense that made me giggle or something of the like.

This may actually be fun.


L.G. Fuad - Motion City Soundtrack