Tuesday, February 1, 2011

D&D, Epic Beards, And a distinct lack of attractive women. (Part III, Finale)

So after a nutritious breakfast of Ramens and Mountain Dew, we were off to the all day nerd-a-thon. Now I had never been to a convention before, but the ones I have seen pictures of seemed to be set up in a convention center with different booths and stages set up for different events, vendors, ect. This was nothing like that. The convention was held in a fairly upscale event hall, and after paying a recockulous $15 for parking, we expected to have a long wait out in the cold as everyone waited to purchase tickets. Instead, the outside of the building and welcome lobby were almost completely empty. We assumed that we were early and that things hadn't been set up yet, rather we were informed that everything was already underway. Confused, we followed one the event coordinator that sold us our tickets to a pair of double doors. Those doors opening were like the gates of heaven swinging open (Well, nerd heaven at least).

One moment we were in a barren welcome lobby, and the next we were surrounded by hundreds of people playing games of DnD being, overzealous middle aged men screaming war cries at the top of their lungs, and oiled up babes in bikinis riding dragons having an epic sword fight. Alright so maybe we're a few features short of nerd heaven, but you get the picture.

The day was arranged into different events, each lasting 2-4 hours depending on the size of your group and what campaign you were playing. UNFORTUNATELY each event had a price of $8 on top of the entry fee of $20. Needless to say, I burnt though the $60 I brought pretty damn quickly.

We started off the day by playing gamma world, which is a Fallout 3-esque 4th edition DnD game. It's really light hearted and quite enjoyable to play. Randomly rolled characters can create some interesting race combinations (I myself was a robotic plant named Marty the Party Cactus. And I battled injustice with my ray gun mounted vine-like feelers!). We played with two of the event coordinators that had a bit of free time and wanted to have some fun. We fought our way across the now even more polluted Hudson river, and did battle with a group of android baseball players. We could have just beaten them in a game of DnD baseball... but who can resist sucker punching a batter as he runs a base? Come on.

Our second game was a game of DnD classic. The module we used was from WAYYYYY back when first edition DnD had just come out. Our DM was phenomenal. Not only did he have a massive bright red beard that reached mid chest, but he spoke entirely in character, incorporating elaborate accents and different postures for each character he played as. This may sound incredibly nerdy for those unfamiliar with DnD, but it just makes everything a thousand times more fun if everyone just let's their inhibitions go and has fun with the role playing.

After a quick lunch of Peanut butter sandwiches(we misplaced the jelly... sadface..), we did some shopping around the in house shops that had been set up, and after gawking at the fifty foot table of different kinds of dice, I picked up a nice set of yellow/fiery orange dice for pretty cheap, along with a model to use for my character (a Half Elven Hexblade. SO much fun to play as. +10 to bluff and intimidate... bitch, you're doing what I say!). Epic beard award number two goes to the shop owner that sold all of the models. I don't think I could see his face AT ALL under that massive lump of a beard.

The last event of the day was a module set in the Dark Sun campaign. In this campaign, arcane magic has corrupted the world of Athas, and what was once a lush tropical planet has been reduced to a world of sandy barrens sprinkled with oasis's. Metals are extremely rare and adventurers have turned too less likely forms of armory/weaponry such as bone and wood. We played with a couple of guys that were probably a couple of years older than us, and one man who appeared to be in his late 50's. We had a lot of fun. The plot was very open ended, this allowed us to be very creative with our decisions and made for a very interesting game. Between intimidating a traveler to sell us into slavery so we could get closer to someone trapped in a slave caravan, impersonating doctors in order to collect medical supplies, and having Kyle's Monk get his ass kicked in a rigged boxing match against a crazed halfling, we had a ton of fun and had everyone at the table cracking up with laughter for most of the game.

Epic beard awards 3, 4, and 5 go to the guys at the table behind us. One stocky cowboy hat wearing dude had a mix between a fu man chu and mutton chops, the next had a neckbeard that would make the most hardcore of nerdy shut-ins jealous, and the last (my personal favorite) was clean shaven save for the beard on his chin, which was combed and oiled into one long perfect sheet that went down to the base of his neck. Creepy looking, but still pretty badass.

We got out early the next morning so Kyle could get to a home viewing with his fiancée at 11 the next morning. Getting up at 6am with nothing to eat but chips and mountain dew blows. But we made the trip home on the ice covered roads without too much trouble. Road trip to central michigan university for a friend's 21st birthday next weekend. I'm sure I'll have some stories to tell about that as well...

Till next time!

SONGS! D.R.U.G.S - If you think this song is about you, it probably is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QP7JBJDXDpY
Craig Owens, the ex-lead singer of Chiodos formed this band late last year, and they are AWESOME. If you like Chiodos or alternative rock, check these guys out. They won't dissapoint.

Also! I have never worked with HTML before. If someone could give me a quick walkthrough on how to incorporate videos/pictures into my post, I would love you forever.


  1. sounds like fun, u should post pics! :)

    your friend,

  2. Sounds very entertaining. Definitely following you!

    I personally use the non-HTML markup; if you get a Photobucket or similar image hosting program you can just paste the direct link to the image into the "Insert Image" thing above the text box. Quite handy.

  3. Sounds like it was alot fun. Pricey, but fun.

  4. Oh! I know how to do that! Lol

    Thanks, man.

  5. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. DEFINITELY not what I thought it would be, but still very fun.

    They really should have had oiled up babes fighting dragons though...

  6. Sounds pretty awesome, I've always wanted to go to something like this or Blizzcon.

    supporting and following,

  7. So many laughs were had as I read this :) Following and supporting.

  8. You guys seem to have a lot of fun. :)